


Finding Sanctuary (Baby, I'm coming home)

by Living_Free



Series: Finding Sanctuary (Baby, I'm coming home) [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Family, Angel!Preg, Angst, BAMF!Cas, Baby Angels, Crack, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Mpreg, SO MUCH FLUFF, but everyone is confused, but not too much, no one is really evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-26 06:00:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6226669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the General of the Heavenly Host is kidnapped by Lucifer, and the rest of the host is falling pregnant?</p><p>This looks like a problem for the Winchesters! </p><p>Join Dean, Sam, and a very pregnant Castiel in their adventures as they try to restore balance to the Heavens, with Dean trying to fornicate with Cas in the most unlikely of places. Now, if only the rest of the universe could get with the plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Hola, fandom!
> 
> I return to you with an all new fic!
> 
> If you've read my previous works, you'll know that I am incapable of writing anything but fluff. I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Pop by on tumblr and say hi - my name there is kindaangelic! 
> 
> Please comment!

Dean was happy.

At the moment, he couldn't give a damn about the impending apocalypse, the many demons on their trail, or the looming presence of Michael and Lucifer in their lives. It was so hard to care when he was full of sex endorphins and pie. In his arms, Castiel snuffled, knackered from their marathon sex. Dean fondly kissed the top of his head, once again feeling immensely glad that he had managed to overcome his emotional walls in order to confess his feelings to Castiel. With Castiel's emotions running high from their confrontation in the alley, he had angrily professed his love for Dean, which had led to Dean pulling him into a bruising kiss. All in all, it had been a good night, the previous thrashing having been forgotten in their passion.

Sam had been traumatized to find them rutting against the panic room wall the next morning, but that had been a small price to pay for Dean and Cas to unite. 

Sam was generally happy with the state of things, his optimism marred only by Lucifer tormenting him via the dreamscape. The Devil regaled Sam with tales of hiw he would restore the Earth and the heavens to their former glory, all while wearing Sam like a sock puppet.

"How could you justify killing your brother just to sate your own ego?" Sam had spat at Lucifer angrily.

Lucifer cocked his eyebrow amusedly. "Why would I kill him when I can slowly persuade the finest ass in heaven to join with me? And I say that literally," he snickered.

Sam had paled. "You couldn't do that."

"You underestimate just how persuasive I can be," Lucifer sang happily. "Who would you side with, Sam? Your absent Father, who left your family in the lurch, or your sweet lover, who just wants to make sure that you're ok?" Lucifer simpered. 

Sam had woken up from that dream retching at the image of Lucifer boinking Michael (who still looked too much like John Winchester for Sam's taste). From that night onwards, Lucifer would torture Sam with images of Michael and himself, and would also throw in images of his loved ones, "For funsies," Lucifer had said.

Therefore, it was not all too traumatizing for Sam to listen to Dean pounding into Cas through the mounds of blankets thrown over his head. Better be subjected to their groans than to have a visual, such as that which Lucifer would provide if he slept. So his night continued, alone but safe, listening to Dean murmuring sweet nothings to Cas, while the angel slept like a mishappen, yet attractive log. 

In his mind, Sam was happy, Apocalypse and all. 

\--------

"Sam, hurry the hell up!"

"In a minute!" Sam hollered back, tugging on the comb firmly lodged in his hair. Sam had a knot in his hair. If this wasn't an omen, then he would eat his sock. 

"Sam?"

"Cas?" Sam whimpered softly, yanking on his hair.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Castiel asked with a worried edge to his voice. 

"Sam's in trouble? SAMMY!" Dean yelled as he tried to bust down the door. Sam jerked in horror as the door crashed inwards and Dean and Cas hurtled into him. "Sammy, what's wrong?"

Sam glared at Dean, looking flustered. "It's nothing, Dean. My hair got caught in my brush, is all." Dean took a moment to digest the fact, and started to cackle. 

"Come here, you big baby," Dean grunted. Grabbing hold of the brush, Dean pulled hard, causing Sam to shriek. 

"Dean! Your enormous hands are pulling out my hair!" 

"Serves you right! Who asked you to use a brush?" Dean gritted out, still pulling.

"Dean, stop, it hurts! Your stupid fingers are too thick!"

"Cas doesn't complain," Dean huffed, pulling once more for good measure.

Sam shuddered. "Cas, help me," he whined. 

Castiel shooed Dean aside, and started freeing Sam's hair from the brush methodically. Dean perched himself on the counter of the sink and watched Castiel fluff Sam's hair back to it's former glory while Sam looked at him adoringly. God, Dean loved his angel. 

Five minutes later, Sam was ready to go. "Everyone ready?" Dean called. 

"No," Castiel replied shortly, going back into the toilet. Dean looked questioningly at Sam, who shrugged. 

"Maybe he thought he should finally comb his hair?" Sam ventured. 

Their curiosity was soon answered when a retching noise came from the washroom, followed by a flush and the sound of a sink running. Castiel re-emerged, looking a bit peaky, but put together. "I'm ready now."

"The hell you are! Cas, how did you get sick? Is it an angel condition? How do we get you help?" Dean asked, panicking. 

Castiel cocked his head. "It is, as you say, an angel condition, but it is no sickness. My grace is budding." 

"Like yeast?" Sam asked incredulously.

"No," Castiel said slowly. "As angels are creatures of light, we have no genetic material to propagate. Therefore, when we need to procreate, our grace binds with that of another, and upon successful bonding, the grace in one of the angels buds outwards."

Sam and Dean watched Castiel finish speaking and straighten out his coat as though he had not just dropped a bombshell on the brothers. "So... you're pregnant?" Sam asked.

"In a manner of speaking," Castiel replied. 

Dean collapsed into Sam's arms. "And I'm the father?" He asked weakly. 

Castiel looked irritated. "Of course, who else could there be? Your soul and my grace bonded within me. This is our child, Dean."

"Oh," Dean said. "Cool. Sam, could you make yourself scarce for a minute?" Dean asked, calmly unbuttoning his jeans. 

Sam hurried out and closed the door behind him quickly, but too late to not catch a glimpse of Dean jumping onto Castiel with a whoop, his cock already half out of his pants. Closing the door fully, Sam shuddered and went to the impala to curl into fetal position and tattle to Bobby over the phone.

The phone rang twice before Bobby picked up. "Hello?"

"Bobby, did you know that angels could get pregnant?" Sam blurted out.

This led to silence on Bobby's end. Finally, he asked, "So Dean knocked him up, huh?"

"Yes. They're having celebretory sex right now. What I don't understand is how Dean is so chill about this. I mean, we're in the middle of the Apocalypse!" 

Bobby snorted. "If you don't think Dean's been thirsting for a chance to have a kid, you're stupider than I thought. He's been an empty nester ever since you left for college."

Sam lapsed into a thoughtful silence. Dean always was attached to children. Whenever there was a hunt which involved them, Dean would go into fierce mother-hen mode, always ready to defend them. Ever since he and Dean had reunited, Dean had been more gentle around him, tending to Sam, and fretting after him. Sam had chalked it up to Dean's thinking that he would leave, but now that he thought about it, Dean had always been that way. Perhaps this child was exactly what their little family needed. 

"You know what, Bobby? I'm kinda looking forward to this," Sam said happily. 

"Yeah, me too," Bobby replied. "Which is why you numbskulls are going to come right down here. I ain't gonna risk a pregnant angel hopping around the world, looking for his Daddy, who's not much of one at all."

"Not to mention the other angels," Sam added.

"Speaking of which, how're your dreams?" Bobby asked concernedly.

Sam shuddered. Lucifer had been getting more and more creative as of late. For the ten minutes he had drifted off last night, Lucifer had been ready. He immediately conjured dreams of himself and Michael, kissing passionately in the same bed as Sam. Dream-Sam had scrambled off of the bed, only to bump into an imaginary Bobby getting down and dirty with Crowley. When Lucifer had asked him to say yes again, Sam had rudely rebuffed him and pinched himself sensitive area to wake up.

"Just more of the same," Sam sighed. "Say 'yes', or I'll make you watch while I make happy fun time with Michael. Do you know that he got Dean and Cas involved the last time? I did not need to know how pale Dean's ass is!"

"Argh! Shut up, you idjit! Just...just make sure you and those other idjits get here pronto!"

Bobby hung up the phone, leaving Sam alone in the car. He managed to relax in the driver's seat, humming a pop song that Dean would tease him mercilessly for if he heard him. His relaxation was soon brought to an end when a dishevelled Dean barrelled into the car and shoved him over so that he could sit in the driver's seat.

"Bobby says to get over to his place, pronto," Sam informed Dean. "And no more hunting for God, too," he turned to inform Castiel. It wasn't necessary, however, as Castiel was busy snoring in the back. Dean looked back at his angel lovingly, and started the long drive home.


	2. Babies. Babies Eveywhere.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael has problems, a clingy mate being surprisingly not being one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? Has this author actually got themselves together enough to update? Yes!
> 
> Please comment or pop by on tumblr - kindaangelic
> 
> O3O virtual smooches.

As soon as Dean pulled up to Bobby's house, he knew that something was out of place. The atmosphere was charged, and not in a good way. 

"Angels," Castiel whispered hurriedly. "We should-" Dean's eyes widened and he rushed through the door, waving his gun and yelling profanities. "-enter stealithy," Castiel finished.

"You assholes, you better not have hurt Bobby! I'll gank you until your grace is shredded!"

The angel by the fireplace turned around slowly, raising an eyebrow at Dean. The hunter stopped short as he recognized Raphael and without missing a beat, fired into his chest. Raphael huffed and slammed Dean into the wall, and turned to address another angel. "Immobilize him." The lanky angel bounced happily at the order and shuffled to where Dean lay crumpled and promptly sat on him, causing the hunter to emit an engraged squeak. 

"Argh! Get off, you holy weenie!" Dean yelled as he flailed beneath the crushing weight of the deceptively skinny looking angel. Said angel merely giggled at being jostled, and proceeded to grind his bony ass further into Dean's back. "Cas, run! Take care of our baby! Sam, promise that you'll love Cas and our baby as your ooowwnnn!" Dean wailed dramatically. 

Castiel rolled his eyes and addressed Raphael. "What is it, Raphael? Why is it that you have brought Inias with you?"

Raphael snapped his fingers to silence Dean's wailing, and turned back to Castiel. "Peace, Castiel. We require all angels to return to heaven, regardless of their fallen status. As you may have realized, we have a bit of a situation on our hands."

"What? What situation? You're not taking Cas!" Sam hollered. "Also, where's Bobby!?.

Raphael snickered in a sinister manner. "Do not worry about him."

Sam was about to holler some more when he heard a distant voice call, "I'm upstairs, idjit! That angel put me up here and told me to roll downstairs if I really wanted to come down!" Raphael chuckled, but straightened his expression at his brothers' chastizing looks. 

"As I was saying," Raphael huffed, "Castiel's pregnancy is only one of the many that have occurred in heaven. Due to the loss of many of our bretheren during the war, our graces as a collective have spontaneously decided to pair off and bud to form new angelic life out of the graces of our fallen brothers."

"So, what? Uriel's grace could be regenerating right now?" Sam shrieked.

"Those who have fallen fighting for heaven," Raphael amended himself. "Uriel will not be coming back." From his far right, Dean made another attempt to throw Inias off, resulting in the angel squealing in surprise. Raphael rounded on Dean and yelled, "Have care of how you treat Inias! He is carrying our child!"

Castiel smirked slightly. "Really, Raphael? You bonded with Inias? How did that come to be?" 

"Silence!" Raphael shreiked. "It matters not!" From on top of Dean, Inias sagged with a mournful chirp. Raphael immediately looked guilty, and fidgeted, muttering "Sorry," in Enochian. Inias fluffed right back up, cooing at Raphael.

Castiel cleared his throat and looked determinedly at Raphael. "Pregnancy or no, I will not be returning to Heaven with you, Raphael. Was there anyhting else?"

Raphael glared. "Your pregnancy is only the tip of the iceberg. It is Michael who is truly my concern."

"How so?" Castiel asked, slightly panicked. If something had happened to Michael, then their strongest force against Lucifer would be compromised. 

"Michael's grace was growing, and I could sense that he would soon be ready to pair off. Before I could convince Michael to pair off with someone powerful and obiedient like Bartholomew, he disappeared."

Raphael's morose words were met with shocked silence from everyone. Everyone except Inias, that is. He started to sob jerkily, dripping fat tears onto Dean's head. "Michael gone!" He burst out in sparse English, and started to choke out a stream of Enochian words.

"What's the wierd pregnant angel saying?" Dean asked in horror, clearly unequipped to handle the sobbing mess on top of him.

"He has expressed his desire to smite those who stole away his brother. He wishes for fiery manure to rain upon them for the rest of their lives, and that frogs urinate upon their accursed faces," Castiel translated calmly, stepping forward to pull Inias into an awkward embrace. "There, there. We shall smite their atomic components to the deepest depths of hell. We shall get Michael back."

"We shall?" Dean groused, sitting up after what felt like an eon under Inias's ass. 

"We shall," Castiel said meaningfully, his sharp eyes gesturing towards Inias, who looked ready to wail again.

Raphael flailed minutely. "We must strategize. We need to track our brother's grace to see where he may be. We will have to organize ourselves, and for that, we need angels everywhere. Heaven, Hell, Earth, Purgatory, Alpha Centuri, and all the alternate universes of note-"

"Huh?" 

"Not now, demon boy," Raphael snapped. "Castiel, time is of the essence. If Michael is not found soon, then he may be exploited for his grace. If Michael crumbles, the prophecy too shall be in shambles."

"Why do you care? You wanted everything gone in the first place," Dean groused. 

Raphael desperately wished for horrible things to happen to Dean, and made no effort to hide it. "I hope you choke on a goat's pudenda. I wanted my family to be free of Lucifer and all that is wrong with this world. I wanted paradise, for myself, for my brothers, and my child. I have lost so much already, the thought of having to lose Lucifer too was horrifying to me. But his presence threatened the rest of my family, and so, I will do what I must. Whether you admit it or not, Michael is your only hope as well," Raphael insisted. "Without God, he is the only one who could defeat the Devil. Without him, Lucifer wreaks havoc. With Michael, there is a slim chance that you could collaborate to achieve both your ends."

"Wow," Dean whistled. "You must really be desperate to end this thing if you're willing to compromise."

Raphael's expression hardened. "I will do what I must. I will not let my child and the next generation of angels suffer as my family does now." He turned to Castiel. "What say you, Castiel? Will you help?"

Castiel looked at Dean and willed him to trust him. Dean seemed to cotton on and sighed, nodding sadly. "I will help, brother, but on the condition that Michael and yourself be amenable to negotiate with us later on."

"And no zapping Cas around!" Dean butted in. "Wherever my boo-um, angel, goes, I go!" 

From upstairs, Bobby whooped. "You tell him, boy!"

Raphael rolled his eyes. "Fine. We shall discuss arrangements after the initial strategizing is done in heaven. Castiel, Inias, let us depart."

Castiel nodded and turned to Dean to bid him goodbye, only to be drawn into a deep kiss. "You be safe, you hear me? We're gonna do this together."

Castiel smiled softly and nodded. "I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, boo," Dean whispered back.

Raphael huffed impatiently. "Come, boo, we must depart."

Dean flushed and released Castiel, who flapped off with his brothers. Raphael made sure that his wing smacked Dean's face as he departed. 

"Now what?" Dean asked softly, watching the spot where Castiel had stood not a moment before.

"I guess we go get Bobby down," Sam replied with a shrug.

"Darn tootin' you will!"

The brothers chuckled and went upstairs to retrieve their father figure and update him about his soon-to-arrive grandchild. At least there was something to look forward to in this mess.

\--------------

Meanwhile, somewhere in Italy...

"Guh, where are we?" Michael slurred sleepily.

"Milan," Lucifer replied. "Rise and shine, pookums."

"Cease calling me that name. It angers me- mmph!" Michael was cut off as Lucifer jumped on him to draw him into a deep kiss. 

"You're cute when you're angry," Lucifer snickered. Michael smiled sheepishly and blinked sleepily. Lucifer kissed his temple and began to massage in between his shoulder blades, where Michael's six majestic wings sprouted. Michael sagged into his lover, doing his level best not to chirp. He would NOT be like Inias. 

"You can chirp if you want to, you know. There's no one here but me," Lucifer whispered softly. Michael cracked open one eye and chirped contentedly, nuzzling into Lucifer's shoulder. Being pregnant made him all kinds of goopy, and Lucifer was just happy that he had managed to get Michael to come away with him before Raphael could stick his big nose where it did not belong. "Are you happy, my love?"

"Yes," Michael sighed happily. "I cannot imagine my life otherwise. The apocalypse can eschew itself. I'm happy right here, with you." After a minute, Michael raised his head, worry written all over his face. "Raphael must have realized by now that I am missing. What do we do?"

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it," Lucifer said soothingly. Michael melted back into his arms and was soon asleep, snoring lightly. Lucifer kept his arms around him, vowing to never let him go, come hell or high water. 

Well, since he basically owned hell, half of the job was basically done for him. Lucifer smiled, leaning back into the armchair where they were both cuddled.

He would really have to thank Sam for freeing him. Perhaps tonight, then. Having decided that, Lucifer fell into a light slumber, the sounds of their future child's coos in his ears.

\----------


	3. Deal with It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters go to heaven. To no one's surprise, Dean tries to sully it by trying to have sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter is long.
> 
> Come and visit me on tumblr - kindaangelic! 
> 
> Please comment, comments are my ATP.
> 
> WARNING: Temp character deaths - how else do they get into heaven? But no worries, our Cas won't let his boys stay dead. He'd miss Dean's penis too much :P
> 
> Ooh, I'm naughty.

It was midnight when Castiel flapped back into Bobby's living room, with Inias clinging firmly to his arm. "We have news," Castiel said solemnly as he pried Inias off. "We followed Michael's trail, but it seemed to go in multiple directions as soon got out of the Heavenly gates. We have to dispatch several groups to multiple locations. Inias, Balthazar, and myself are in charge of scouring America."

Dean nodded. "We have to come up with some probable places where he could be. Did you guys find anything else?"

"Along with Michael's grace, we found traces of tainted grace as well. It can belong to none other than Lucifer."

Sam started. "So he wasn't just messing with me in my dreams? He really has a hard on for Michael?"

Castiel sighed. "The depth of his feelings have yet to be ascertained, as with his intentions for the apocalypse. We must find them in order to get these answers." Inias babbled something in Enochian, but it sounded determined. "Inias says that we must get Balthazar here at immediately. He was in Lucifer's original garrisson, and will have better knowledge of how he operates."

"So where is this Balthawhatever?"

"What the gosh darned tootin'-!"

"Good gracious, is that a cap? And so greasy! Am I in purgatory?"

"Bathazar!" Inias cheeped happily. Balthazar appeared, looking scandalous in a low cut v-neck.

"Are we sure this is not puragtory? I've never seen so much dirt in one place before," he drawled. "Inias, sweetheart," he said as he oozed over to give him a small peck on the cheek. "Cassie, darling, come to me," Balthazar said smarmily, coming forward for a kiss. Dean leapt in between them and intercepted Balthazar's kiss.

"Eww..." Dean groaned. 

"Ugh, how disgusting, now I'll taste like human for a week," the angel grumbled. 

Castiel cleared his throat. "That's enough, Balthazar. We need you to give us any information you may have pertaining to Lucifer's previous safehouses in this country."

Balthazar rolled his eyes. "If you think he's stupid enough to go back to those places, you've got another thing coming. We can't track Michael, I bet my left ass cheek that Lucifer would have masked his energy signature. Our best bet is to find something of Lucifer's to track down. If we get our hands on a physical object, we could bring it over to the Earthly plane and use it here."

"Okay, so what do we have to get?"

Balthazar twirled his hands. "Oh, anything intimate. The only problem is that Lucifer's quarters are locked down tight. Raphael didn't want other angels getting any inspiration to rebel, especially now, and he personally patrols that area, along with a few volunteer souls."

Dean stared. "Souls?"

"Oh, yes. With so many angels being deployed or ready to deliver, we need all hands on deck. These are souls of some volunteers, doctors, nurses, soldiers, and hunters. So watch out for them as well."

Sam raised his hand meekly. "How are we supposed to help you?" Sam asked, gesturing to Dean and himself.

Balthazar clapped his hands gleefully. "Why, the same way all souls go to heaven! We kill you!" Castiel snarled at his brother's words. "Oh don't worry, Cassie. It'll be temporary. Now, can we crack on?"

Inias leapt forward and happily broke the brother's necks. Before Bobby or Castiel could begin yelling, Balthazar grabbed his brothers and popped off to heaven to find the Winchesters, leaving Bobby alone with the bodies. 

"Balls!"

\----------

It didn't take long to locate the brothers in heaven. Dean was back at his dream pier, this time with an illusion of Castiel. Their fishing rods lay forgotten as they necked enthusiastically. Balthazar snapped the illusion of Castiel away, replacing him with the real one. "Cas, you found me!" Dean crowed happily. "Let's continue," he mumbled, going back in for a kiss.

Castiel indulged him for one kiss before reminding him that they had to locate Sam. Dean huffed and rolled off of his lover, and allowed himself to fbe flown through several heavens before spotting Sam. Sam was in a lecture in Stanford, listening with rapt attention.

"Oh my God, he's revisiting his nerdy wet dreams!" Dean said loudly, interrupting the lecture. The setting dissolved as Sam blushed fiercely and snapped at Dean to shut up. Balthazar rolled his eyes and transported the group to the corridor outside Lucifer's sanctum. 

"Damn," Balthazar cursed. "Raphael is patrolling. We need a distraction. Inias, quick, be sexy!"

Dean scoffed and looked at the lanky angel disbelievingly, unwilling to think that he could be anything other than mildly adorable. Inias put his game face on and cooed seductively at an approaching Raphael, making the archangel look up. Inias fluttered his ridiculously large eyes and swayed his hips awkwardly, looking pointedly at Raphael all the while.

"Woo, look at that wing action! Boys, you should be sorry you can't see this," Balthazar leered. 

Castiel frowned and slapped a hand over Balthazar's eyes. After a minutes, he did the same to Sam. Dean looked at him curiously beofore asking, "Why didn't you cover my eyes?"

"Because I trust you," Castiel replied smoothly. 

"Aw, babe." 

"Ew, the emotions," Balthazar groused. He silently led the team forward and inched past Raphael and Inias in full makeout mode. The four of them quickly slipped inside the room and closed the door, and turned around to view the room in its entirety. "Everyone, split up!"

Minutes passed as the team searched silently. After a while, Castiel popped up, holding a small, dried flower. "Its a flower that I found under his pillow. It is an extinct species on earth now. This was one of the first blooms on the planet before-"

"-mankind," Sam finished for him. "He must have picked it for himself."

Castiel shook his head. "It was not Lucifer who picked it. The residue of grace on this shows that Michael held it first. It was his gift to Lucifer." Sam pursed his lips contritely and looked away. Perhaps letting Lucifer and Michael have their own lives together would be a kindness that was long due to them.

"I know what you are thinking, Sam," Castiel interjected. "However, at this point, we do not know if Lucifer's intentions have been twisted by his time in hell, or if Michael went willingly or not. For everyone's piece of mind, we should find them. If they are truly content with each other, then there will be no problem."

Balthazar placed his hand on Castiel's shoulder, causing Dean to twitch unhappily. "Good job, darling. We should go now, before Inias decides that he's tired of necking with Raphie. What they saw in each other, I'll never understand."

"Raphael can be...charismatic," Sam mumbled. Dean's eyebrows hit his hairline as Balthazar chuckled.

"Don't looks so surprised, Dean," Balthazar said. "Raphael always exuded a sense of raw power. It isn't unusual for younger Angels to be a little enamoured with him. Same goes with the rest of the archangels. But what he saw in Inias, I can't say."

"Inias is sweet," Castiel said in defense his little brother. 

"And a bit daft," Balthazar added. "He's like tweety bird. Ah, well, I suppose it's fine, whatever floats their boat." Balthazar placed his fingers on his temples. "Message from Inias - things are getting hot and heavy, he'll be a while, and says that we should carry on. Whoo, tweety's getting some action! Let's go, lads!"

"Ew, ew, ew," Dean chanted, following Balthazar out. He could never watch Looney Toons again the same way. The two Angels and humans walked silently along the corridor, aiming to reach Heaven's gate without any incident, when they were stopped in their tracks.

"Hold it, jerkwads! No unassigned souls are allowed up here!"

Dean turned around to face their opponent, enraged. "Who're you calling a jerkwad- Jo?" The group was faced by a surprised looking Jo Harvelle, who was pointing a shotgun at them.

"Dean! Sam! Cas!" She squealed happily, hugging them each in turn. When she was done, she pinched Dean's nipple hard, causing him to squeal in pain. "Why are you two dead!?" She hollered at the brothers. 

"We are on a mission, Joanna," Castiel answered solemnly. "I shall revive them when we get back to Earth. Are you one of the warrior's souls that volunteered to guard Heaven?" 

Jo nodded. "Yup. A bunch of Angels came around, asking for volunteers. I was getting hella bored, sitting on my pretty ass up here, so I signed up. Mom's patrolling too. Now, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you see, sweet-" Bathazar started.

"Better not complete that word, fish-face," Jo interrupted cheerily. Balthazar gaped at the diminutive blond in front of him. Castiel stepped in and told Jo what they were doing. When he was finished, Jo hummed thoughtfully.

"So, if Raphael knew you were snooping around here, he'd be in a snit and smite you, but this is necessary for your plan to work if you're tracking them on Earth, is that right?" Castiel nodded.

Balthazar huffed. "No, Raphael wouldn't smite you," he said pointedly to Castiel. "You're with child. Besides, he tried it once, and it didn't work. No, he'll smite me!"

Castiel clucked patiently. "I'm sure it won't come to that. We-" Castiel was interrupted as a small projectile whizzed past his head. He looked around and saw that a small fledgling angel was flailing around happily, no doubt happy that it had caught his attention. "Oh, hello, Josiah. What are you doing out of the nursery?" Castiel picked the fledgling up, allowing him to burrow into his midriff. "Yes, you will get another sibling soon. They will be a Nephilim, as the father is The Righteous Man. Do you know who that is?" 

Dean scoffed at Cas speaking coherently to the grubby baby. "He can't understand you yet, Cas, he's- holy crap," Dean bit his tongue as Josiah pointed directly at him.

Castiel smiled slightly. "Angels are born with the knowledge of all creation, Dean. Besides, Josiah has merely taken another form, a reincarnation of sorts, after he fell in battle."

Dean shuddered. "So, you're going to give birth to one of your brothers?"

Castiel frowned. "Most certainly not. As this child is a mixture of grace and a human soul, they will be completely unique." Dean brightened immediately, making Castiel smile a bit wider. "We should probably return Josiah to the nursery. His minders will be worried." 

As they made their way to the nursery, Jo suddenly had an epiphany. "Wait, Cas, you said our child. You're having a child? With Dean?" Castiel nodded. "How!?"

Castiel looked bemused, but began to answer nonetheless. "Dean's soul is patched together with my grace, which makes us more tuned to each other. Given the sheer magnitude of what we have gone through together, our energies called towards each other, and bonded. It also helps that there were deep feelings of affection and love on both sides."

Dean blushed. Jo chuckled and asked, "So Dean pulled his head out of his ass? Did you guys even find the time to connsumate with the apocalypse going on?"

"We have consummated seventeen times in various locations. The experiences have been vigorous, yet refreshing. Dean is a very thorough lover, very gentle."

"Ca-as!" Dean gritted out, now resembling a beetroot. 

"It is true, Dean. I love it when you lay yourself, your soul, bare in front of me, and we both experience bliss together."

Dean shuffled around embarrassedly, but still looked pleased. "You know, we should get you checked out, now that we're in heaven. Make sure you're healthy," he said earnestly. Castiel smiled at Dean, glad to see how eager he was in making sure his little family was ok. 

Upon entering the nursery, Dean and Sam came to a halt. "There's something off here," Sam muttered. Dean nodded, watching the various fledglings tumbling around, their caregivers watching or engaging them. "None of the kids are crying," Dean realized. 

"Fledglings don't cry," Castiel said mildly. "We want for nothing, and are surrounded by the love of our siblings and the happiness of the souls in our charge."

"Psshht," Balthazar breathed. "I recall a certain fledgling crying his little eyes out because Bart plucked your feather."

"It hurt!" Castiel seethed back.

"You wouldn't stop until Lucifer spanked him!"

"He deserved it," Castiel muttered sullenly. He handed Josiah over to a bouncing angel who chirped his thanks before smothering Josiah in kisses, and walked away with him. Josiah looked displeased, but settled into his minder's arms, giving into the kisses with good grace. 

"Who was that?" Dean asked, pointing at the overly affectionate angel. 

"Oh, that's Samandriel. He's one of the youngest in Heaven, so it was a surprise when he became bonded to Bartholomew," Castiel said, gesturing to a blond angel with a prominent cleft chin, who waved to Castiel. He took Josiah from his mate's arms and held the child more austerely, resulting in Josiah heaving a small sigh of relief. Samandriel began to titter, and pressed more kisses, this time to Bartholomew's slightly startled face. 

"Aww," Dean cooed lowly, intent on making sure no one heard him. He wrapped an arm around Castiel, who began to look around for a healer. Jo took that time to announce that she was bored, and was going to go back to work, and that both brothers had better get down to Earth pronto, or else Raphael would notice.

"Castiel, here for a checkup?" A dark-skinned female asked briskly. Castiel nodded, and followed her when she gestured for him to come with her. "Lie down on the table, and remove that horrible overcoat. It offends my sensibilities."

Castiel started to shrug off the coat when he felt a pair of hands began to help him. He turned to thank who he supposed was the healer's apprentice, but was surprised when he faced a human soul instead. "Thank you," Castiel said to the boy, now hanging his coat. "I do not recognize you. Are you Temeriel's apprentice?"

The boy nodded. "Yeah. When Angels came around asking for volunteers, I asked to be placed in the medical wing, or whatever was closest. I was studying to be a doctor when I was alive, didn't see why I should stop. Only thing that's changed is the species of those I'd treat," the boy replied gamely. "I'm Adam Milligan."

There was a pair of tremulous gasps from the doorway, and Castiel turned to see Sam and Dean clutching at each other tearily. Adam looked mildly startled at the two men, but proceeded with his tasks nonetheless. "If either of you are the father, you can come in," Adam called over his shoulder. Dean stepped inside quickly, and was followed by Balthazar. Dean shot the offending angel a glare, but this time, Balthazar was not to be cowed. 

"I'm not the father, but I do have a problem," he said seriously. 

"Oh? Well, Temeriel should be back soon, she can help you then," Adam replied lightly.

"Oh, I doubt that," Balthazar said. He positioned himself in a erotic pose, and continued, "you see, I think this is a problem only you can cure. My lust glands are acting up-" Balthazar sqwauked as Dean slapped him upside the head. Temeriel had also chosen that moment to come in, and was more than a little displeased. 

"Balthazar, out of my office! And stay away from my charge! If I see even a trace of your smarmy grace on him, I will call on Raphael to smite you!" Adam chuckled and gave Balthazar a flirty wave on the way out, making the angel perk up despite the threat upon his life. Temeriel turned to Castiel. "Lie down and let me feel your middle." 

Castiel hastened to do as he was told, and allowed Temeriel to poke and prod him. "Feel this? This tender fluttering is the nascent grace," she said to Adam. Adam nodded and poked alongside his mentor. Dean looked curious and wiggled his fingers. "You, with the pudgy fingers," Temeriel barked at Dean, who looked affronted. "Feel! This is your child!" Dean bounced forward and laid his hands on Castiel's belly. As soon as he felt the fluttering, Dean gasped. 

"That's my baby! Sam, you gotta feel this! Baby, you okay with Sam touching you?" Castiel nodded good naturedly, and Sam hurried over, placing his whole hand against Castiel's midriff, melting as the grace responded to his touch as well. 

"The child is well, and Castiel is quite healthy. You will be ready to give birth in approximately seven months, and I expect to hear from you," Temeriel said severely. Castiel nodded as Adam helped him on with his coat and hollered for the next patient to come in. Balthazar flounced back into drag the boys out, tossing Adam a hearty wink on the way out. They passed a heavily pregnant angel Castiel greeted as Jonah, who waved back with a heavy sigh, glaring at his humongous belly. 

"This will be you in some months time," he groused. Castiel looked overjoyed.

"Well, have fun popping that out, Jonah! We have to be going now," Balthazar said, ushering his brother onwards. "Meet you back on Earth!" He said to the brothers, as he and Castiel disappeared. Dean and Sam braced themselves for their revival, and soon found themselves back in their own bodies.

"Man, I gotta piss," Dean grumbled, as he staggered to his feet. Sam crinkled his nose and looked at Castiel, who was rubbing his stomach happily. Sam smiled and looked to Balthazar instead, unwilling to rouse Castiel from his daydreams. 

"Now that we have Lucifer's stuff, what do we do?" 

"We have to first extract Lucifer's grace, and then perform a tracking spell. It will involve binding his grace to an inanimate object we can carry around. It should react when Lucifer is nearby. Now, what do we use?" Balthazar asked, looking around. "What about that amulet Cassie?" Castiel glared at his brother and clutched the amulet tight, shaking his head no. Balthazar sighed, and looked around for another convenient object. His eyes fell upon Dean.

"That ring would be pretty handy," Balthazar suggested. 

Dean crossed his arms in defiance. "Fuck no. That's my mom's ring. The only person who gets to wear this now, is Cas."

"Oh, Dean," Castiel sighed emotionally.

Balthazar groaned. He massaged his temples and thought once more about what could be a fairly common, inconspicuous object... Balthazar jumped up as an idea hit him and oozed over to Bobby. In a deft stroke, he had whipped off Bobby's cap and laid it onto his workstation. 

"Hey! You dang idjit! Gimme back my cap!" Bobby yelled rolling as fast as he could towards Balthazar. Sensing the oncoming human, Balthazar worked quickly, stuffing the remaining shred of Lucifer's grace from the flower into the grungy, old cap instead.

"Ha! It's done!" Balthazar crowed triumphantly, waving the hat around. Bobby huffed and pulled out another cap, seemingly out of thin air, and put it on. "Oh lighten up, old man, your hat is going to be used to save an Archangel!" Bobby sulked harder and resolved to be surly, inspite of his hat becoming a holy artifact. 

Inias chose that moment to return, looking curiously at the cap in Balthazar's hands. 

"Peep?" Inias asked curiously.

Balthazar grinned smugly. "Yes, my dear, I have done it! And good job on keeping Raphael occupied, there, those were some fine moves," he added.

"Bleep!" Inias trilled shyly, hiding his face in Castiel's coat. In a rare show of public affection, Castiel nuzzled his hair with the tip of his nose. Inias slumped bonelessly against him and made a continuous high pitched whining noise, resulting in everyone to stop in their tracks and stare.

Dean chose that moment to appear, still in the process of doing up his fly. "What's going on?" He asked carefully. Balthazar opened his mouth to answer, but then changed his mind.

"Fuck it, I'm going to join in. It's been too long since I had a platonic cuddle, at any rate." Saying so, he peeled off his coat and inserted himself into the cuddle pile. "Good gracious, you're warm! Pregnancy has really made you two into cuddle-bugs!"

"Quiet, Balthazar," Castiel murmured. "This is odd enough as it is."

Dean watched jealously as Castiel was swarmed by his brothers. "Is this an open session?"

"No. Brothers only. Go cuddle with Sam," Bathazar sniped.

"Hell no," Dean replied. Upon catching view of Sam's hurt eyes, he clarified, "Sam's all bones and hair." Sam glowered.

"Well, your hair is prickly," he sniped back. 

"I enjoy the texture of Dean's hair," Castiel replied in a muffled voice. Dean beamed, while Sam rolled his eyes, and Bobby rolled out of the room. 

"Shouldn't we get to work?" Sam asked the pile of Angels.

"We have time," Balthazar sighed. "I'm sure Michael won't begrudge us a quick snuggle." So saying, he retreated back into the warmth of his siblings. 

Dean huffed. Knowing Michael, he was sure that the General of the Host would not be happy to know that he had been ignored in favor of snuggling. Dean looked at Castiel, who looked blissed out, basking in the shared warmth of his siblings' graces. Michael would just have to deal.

\-----------

Meanwhile, in the Seventh Layer of Hell...

"I can't deal with this!" Michael groaned. "I feel so bloated!"

Lucifer's eyebrows drew together in concern. "You only just started to show, though. Could you be reacting badly to hell?"

Michael shook his head sadly. "I can deal with that. Besides, your little demons aren't so bad. One actually asked if he could 'touch the tummy'," he smiled. Michael's face fell again and he winced as he felt the grace inside him move with increased aggravation. "It's all the stress of moving around, I think. We're meant to stay in Heaven, or be surrounded by grace, but we are constantly on the run."

Lucifer sighed. "I'm sorry, love," he said mournfully. Michael leaned against him and stroked his stubble. 

"I would not trade anything for this," Michael whispered. "I would live with you in hell for all eternity of it meant never being separated from you again. I would not be able to take it, not again. The first time almost kil-" Lucifer slapped his hand over Michael's mouth in horror.

"Don't. Just...don't. I made such a mistake. I should never have left you, never should have rebelled. I should have just kept my mouth shut about it all."

Michael shook his head. "No, it needed to be said. Everyone could tell that the tides were changing. We would have ended up left behind at any rate. It seems that everything is a fleeting fancy for Him, even his humans. He is not to be found, even now, when his first children make him...Grandfather." 

"Do not think on these matters, they are of no consequence. It'll just stress you- Michael, what's wrong?" Lucifer asked hurriedly, as Michael cringed violently and grabbed his hand tightly. Michael shivered and light spilled from his eyes and mouth as it opened in a silent scream. Just as soon as it started, however, it was over, leaving both Angels shivering in each other's arms. "What happened?" Lucifer finally asked, as he pushed Michael's sweaty bangs away from his eyes.

"The grace...it...it split," Michael said in awe. He looked up at Lucifer. "It split. We...I think that we're having twins, Lucifer," Michael whispered. 

Lucifer stared at his lover in shock. Slowly, he smiled. "Twins?" Michael nodded shakily, looking scared. Lucifer felt the same way, but knew better than to voice his fears. Twins made for a more complicated pregnancy, and with the stress of avoiding Raphael, it would be more risky. Michael began to sob into his chest, terrified that he would not be able to sustain his children. Lucifer held him tight, his mind racing. He would have to make long term arrangements to keep his family safe. Loath as he was to admit it, they were in a tight spot. 

They needed help.


	4. Bonding at Bobby's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is getting some - except Sam, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! 
> 
> This is another loooong chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy, and come by on tumblr and say hi! I'm kindaangelic :)
> 
> Please leave a comment!

"Dangnabbit, boy, what're you up to?"

"I don't know," Castiel answered, looking flustered. "I just know that I need this!" Castiel went back to stacking the backseat of the impala with all of Bobby's pillows and blankets. Dean watched with a mix of amusement and horror as Castiel stuffed the last pillow into the car and settled inside it. "We can go now, Dean," he called. "The sooner we start our search, the better." A muffled sound from Inias underneath a pillow concurred sleepily. 

Dean got in and keyed the ignition. "Where to?"

"Lucifer has a crypt in Detroit. It may be that he was there recently, and we can track him using the cap. If not, we can set wards to alert us the moment he sets foot there," Castiel answered as he buried into a pillow. 

Dean nodded, looking slightly freaked out at Castiel's sudden need for softness. Sam took pictures discreetly and saved them to his phone. "He's nesting," Sam informed him.

"Huh. Like a bird?" 

"Precisely," Sam replied, his brain pulsating with knowledge. "They make their home suitable for their offspring by making it comfortable, warm, and well stocked. Don't be surprised if Cas starts hoarding food as well. Although, he might not, seeing as he doesn't eat. I didn't see any of the Angels in the nursery eat either," Sam mused.

"That's because we share grace," Castiel informed him from the back. "We are creatures of light, we have no need for food. We share energy." Castiel shifted uncomfortably. "I shall fall asleep soon. Wake me when we reach, Dean?"

"Of course, sweetheart. You and Cas Jr. take a nap. Tell baby I love you both," Dean said cheerily.

"We love you too, Dean," Cas yawned, and promptly started snoring. Before long, Inias' snuffles joined his and both brothers were asleep. 

Seeing this, Dean had Sam place a call to Bobby, who was keeping Balthazar company while he looked for more places that Lucifer was likely to be. "Hello, idjit," Bobby answered. "How're you better idjit-half and Idjit Jr. doing?

Dean frowned. At this rate, his kid was going to grow up thinking that their surname was Idjit. "Bobby, would you not? I don't want that to be my baby's first word," Dean groaned. "Anyway, did Balthazar dig up any more places?"

"Yup. I've got a list here ranging from the East to West coast, but Balthazar can't talk now."

"And why not?" Sam butted in suspiciously.

"Said something about his lust glands being inflamed, and that he needed to see a healer-"

"Son of a bitch!" Dean snarled. "He's getting his slimy mitts all over Adam! I'm gonna get Cas to kill me so that I can go to Heaven and kill him!"

"You may want to inform Adam about our relation to him first," Sam muttered, rolling his eyes. "He might not take kindly to having his paramour killed in front of him by an enraged bull on steroids."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do that first," Dean agreed. "Then I'll kill Balthazar."

"Bobby, could you send me the list of places we need to check out?" Sam asked into the phone while Dean seethed at the wheel.

"Will do, boys. Take care," Bobby replied, and cut the call. He would never understand those boys, but he loved the, nonetheless.

"Balthazar, you better check in with Dean, they're in their way to the crypt," Bobby yelled at the ceiling. "And behave yourself!" He added as an afterthought. When dealing with the obnoxious angel, it seemed like a prudent warning.

\------------

"Damn, love, I must dash. Duty calls," Balthazar mumbled into Adam's stomach. Adam swatted at his head lazily, and jerked as Balthazar bit lightly into the soft flesh.

"Ow. Well, you'd better get going. We don't want my boss to catch you, or there won't be a second time for us."

Balthazar sighed heavily and got up. "Ah, the obstacles lovers face. Well, thanks for the fantastic sex. I'll bring you back a little something for next time."

"Ooh. What?"

"I think you'd look nice with a little butt plug," Balthazar answered lustily. He disappeared, chuckling, as Adam playfully threw a pillow at him. 

\-------------

Balthazar popped into the impala, only to be swatted by Dean. "Ouch, that was rude," the angel grumbled.

"You had sex! You slimy worm, it had better not have been with-"

"Are all Winchesters such animals in bed? If so, I think I can understand why Cassie likes you so much," Balthazar hummed. Dean gaped in horror, and having lost the ability to speak, reverted to swatting the angel again. "Ow. Ow, ow!"

"Guys, we're here," Sam said irritably. "Save the smacking for any demons inside, yeah?" He said, getting out with a flip of his hair. However, no sooner than he had gotten out of the car, he was swarmed by several demons.

"Ohh, look, the Master's vessel!"

"Grab him!"

"Alert the Master!"

"That ass!"

Sam yelped and hacked at the oncoming horde with Ruby's knife, while the Angels and Dean fell into battle beside him. 

"Ooh, lookit, the little angels are preggers!"

"Aww, come put your feet up here, swee- ERK!" The demon choked as Inias strangled it. Despite the mouthy demon's fate, his bretheren did not seem to wisen up.

"Hey, blue eyes, you get your freak on wi-" Yet another demon was silenced by Castiel, who punched a hole through its face. 

"Aw, yeah, angel's got a blood kink, I can-" the demon was silenced by Dean, who neatly blew a hole through its mouth. Dean blew the smoke off the gun barrell,and threw a wink at Cas, who blushed and threw the demon he was choking through a wall. Once the area was cleared of demons and they had ascertained that Lucifer was not present, the group set up wards to trip up the devil, in case he showed.

After a long day's work, the crew found themselves driving to their next destination. From the passenger seat, Dean turned to Cas and said, "Babe, you were so hot back there." Castiel smiled cheekily.

"You weren't quite so bad yourself, Dean. It arouses me to see you filled with the fire of battle."

"For God's sake!" Sam exclaimed. "Would you not do that in the car!? Save it for the bedroom, guys."

"No, no, Cassie, go on," Balthazar said eagerly. "What does this arousal do for you?" That comment earned Balthazar a cuff across the head, and he soon found himself out on his ass as the car sped away. 

"You won't get rid of me that easily, duckies!" Balthazar cried after them. Realizing that he had some time on his hands, Balthazar grinned. Time to make good on that promise of a butt plug for a certain soul.  
\------------

Weeks of scouring the country yielded nothing but more demons and the occasional hunt, and Dean was ready to throw in the towel. "I think we've established that they're not in America, guys," he sighed. "What do we do now?"

"I think we can go on to search Canada," Castiel answered tiredly. "We can meet up with Kerubiel's Warriors and aid their search." 

"But it's cold there!" Dean whined. "Sam, back me up here."

Sam shifted guiltily in his seat. "I don't mind Canada. I think that the cold suits me, actually."

Dean glared. "That's only because you have insulation with all that hair!" Sam looked away snootily. He couldn't help it if his mane was so glorious. Sam looked at Castiel for backup, since the angel had an equally striking head of hair, albeit messier. He opened his mouth, but stopped short.

"Cas," Sam said slowly, "Are you showing?"

Castiel looked down, mildly surprised. "Why, yes," he said, patting his bulge. "I suppose I am. Dean, look!"

Dean immediately forced Sam to stop the car and scrambled into the backseat to press his hand to Castiel's abdomen. "Whoa," he breathed in awe. "Baby, this is awesome. You're awesome." Dean said breathily. From beside him, Inias cooed sadly, upset that his belly still had only the barest of bumps.

"You probably have a smaller baby," Castiel soothed his brother. "They will probably be about Samandriel's size when he was a fledgling, do you remember what he was like?" Inias chirped happily at the thought of a teeny-tiny baby and bounced happily in his seat, babbling in Enochian. 

"Cas, we should probably go home," Sam opined. "You need some down time, what with your pregnancy and all. Besides, it's not like we're having any luck on the road. Maybe we need to come up with a new plan." Castiel nodded sagely, and Sam immediately spun the car around to head back to Singer Salvage. 

Even if it was just for a little while, they would get to go home.

\----------

"Any leads on Luci, brothers?" Balthazar's obnoxious voice greeted the troupe as they traipsed tiredly into the house. 

"You can take your cap and shove it up yours, Balthazar, it didn't light up once!" Dean snarled. "I just dragged my pregnant hubby all across America for weeks, just to off a handful of demons and other monsters!"

Dean's words were greeted with silence. Sam cleared his throat timidly and asked, "Hubby?"

Dean flushed and hastily retreated to the pretext of getting their bags. Everyone turned to Castiel, who stared back, nonchalant. "Dean took advantage of being in Las Vegas. When Sam and Inias were asleep, he drove us to a dubious chapel and we exchanged vows."

Bobby groaned. "A quickie in Vegas? I thought he had more class than that!"

"It was touching and poignant," Castiel defended his new husband. "The sequin-clad minister was in tears."

The group groaned, and even Inias shook his head sadly. Dean chose that moment to re-enter, and removed the grace imbued cap from his bags. He tossed it angrily at Balthazar. "Stupid, no-good, ratty old cap! Fat lot of good this was!" Balthazar opened his mouth to give a witty retort, but was struck dumb as the cap started to hum and glow. Everyone looked at the cap in horror, as it continued to glow. The moment was broken when Dean exclaimed, "What. The. HELL!"

"Lucifer is here!" Castiel exclaimed. "Quick, arm yourselves, we must find him!"

The group pulled knives and guns out of an array of places, and paired off, looking for the fallen angel. "Kitchen's clean!" Bobby called. "He is not in the study, or the bedrooms," Castiel added. When Dean and Sam reported that the garage and the attic were also clear, the boys all came together once more.

"Bobby, the panic room!" Sam gasped. 

"Sam, it's warded down there," Bobby reminded him. 

"It is warded against Angels," Castiel butted in. "Not archangels. Lucifer could easily break the wards."

A silence fell over the group. "We go as a team," Dean said determinedly. "We subdue his ass, save Michael, and we can be done and in time for dinner. Cas, Inias, you stay behind me-"

Inias scoffed and smacked Dean's face lightly. "Angel," he said pointing to himself. "Human," he pointed at Dean patronizingly. "Powerful," he went on, gesturing to himself. "Squishy meat sack," he concluded, waving a hand at Dean. Dean gaped like a fish as the Angels fell into a neat formation, ready for battle. Castiel took pity on Dean and took his husband to stand beside him as they made their way down to the basement. Dean toed the door open to the smaller room, while Sam rubbed off the sigils so that the Angels could enter. They readied their weapons and we're ready to burst in, when they caught sight of something that made them stop in their tracks. 

Intertwined on the small cot in the middle of the room were the elusive Michael and Lucifer, both sound asleep. They could see a sizable belly on Michael, who snuffled slightly in his sleep, and moved closer to Lucifer. Lucifer was jostled awake by the movement, and drowsily woke up and caught sight of their audience. 

A tense standoff ensued, with Lucifer glaring at the assembled trio of Angels and the two humans. Dean stood with his gun aimed at the devil, gaping, as Lucifer protectively curled his hand over Michael's posterior. After five minutes, Castiel decided that he had had enough of the macho posturing from both sides, and gently cleared his throat. 

"Michael, wake up, please," he said softly. Michael blinked awake groggily, and faced the assembled group. His eyes widened in shock, and he quickly huddled close to Lucifer, who in turn pulled out his blade. Castiel rolled his eyes hard. "Lucifer, put your blade away. You're scaring Inias."

"You presume to tell me what to do, Castiel?" Lucifer asked lowly.

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in irritation. "Yes, I do. I am pregnant, my feet hurt, and I haven't had intercourse in over two weeks. I want to get to the bottom of this so that we may finally go on with our lives, Lucifer, if that's alright with you," he snapped.

Lucifer listened to Castiel's tirade with mounting shock, and by the end, looked flabbergasted. No one had ever spoken down to him before. Dean, on the other hand, looked overjoyed, and pulled Castiel close. "That's my kickass angel! You tell him, babe!"

It was soon after that that the Angels and humans found themselves in Bobby's living room, Michael squished between Lucifer and Inias. Inias was making the new arrivals uncomfortable by placing his cheek repeatedly on Michael's stomach and cooing.

"He is trying to commune with the nascent grace," Michael said stiffly. "I wish you wouldn't Inias, your hair is ticklish." Inias tweeted mournfully and slumped next to his eldest brother.

Castiel took the reins once more. "Now, we need to establish some things. Michael, did you go with Lucifer of your own voalition?" Michael nodded. "And was this pregnancy after you enter with him?" Another nod. "Finally, are you happy?"

"I am," Michael affirmed softly, squeezing Lucifer's hand.

"So, what does this mean for the apocalypse?" Sam butted in. "Do we have to be anyone's vessels anymore?"

"No-o," Michael said. "I am quite advanced in my pregnancy, and I don't want to risk changing vessels. Besides, if I'm not going to fight, I don't exactly need my true vessel." 

"Neither do I, though I do envy your hair," Lucifer groused. 

"You wanted me for my hair!?" Sam shrieked incredulously. "The apocalypse was over a case of hair envy?"

Lucifer frowned. "Don't be ridiculous. I wanted you as a vessel in the event I had to fight off Raphael and his small minded minions. I rather like Nick, and I didn't want to have this body all battered."

Dean guffawed gracelessly. "So we're off the hook? No apocalypse?"

Lucifer seemed pleased that someone had grasped the point so quickly. "No, no apocalypse, not from us, at the very least. You're smarter than you look, Dean," he praised. Dean pouted and crossed his arms.

"I'm guessing you were living in the basement for some other reason though. Not safe enough to go back up to heaven?"

Michael sighed. "I know for a fact that Raphael is keen to have this apocalypse over and done with, and he will not be easily convinced into letting Lucifer back into the fold. But he is the least of our worries. There are radical Angels such as Zachariah who are eager to have the Earth back under heavenly control, cleansed of human sin. Unfortunately, he has quite a following, and has his poison in Raphael's ear as well."

"That fucker!" Dean growled. "So, what do we do?"

"We wait," Michael said simply. "Zachariah cannot do anything once our children are born. Two archangels have never mated before - our progeny will be just as powerful as us. Not to mention the wild card of a Nephilim," he said pointing at Castiel's belly. 

"So this is you assuming that my grandbaby is gonna get all mixed up in this," Bobby said suspiciously.

Michael looked contrite. "I did not mean to assume. However, with their lineage, it is inevitable that they will be a part of this. The sooner the child learns of what it faces, the better prepared it will be. There is no point to living in ignorance," Michael finished with a huge yawn. Everyone looked started at Michael's signs of tiredness. Inias cooed gently in question, looking concerned.

"It is hard enough to sustain one nascent grace. Two is a completely different ballgame," Lucifer said, stroking his partner's hair. His words were met with silence from all parties, with Inias breaking the palpable shock with a happy squeal. In his joy, he stuck his face into Michael's midriff once more, babbling excitedly to the stomach. Michael tolerated Inias with good grace, and leaned back into the sofa cushions, and promptly fell asleep again.

"So, um, what do we do now?" Sam asked, gesturing to Michael's prone form. 

"Like Michael said, we can't risk anything till the babies are born, which shouldn't be long. Angels gestate for considerably lesser time than humans. After the children are born, I will smack sense into Raphael, and possibly smite Zachariah," Lucifer said nonchalantly. 

"Please do," Castiel said, viciously happy. 

Lucifer smiled indulgently at Castiel. "Very well. I shall prepare my army of the damned. Oh, do you mind removing those demon traps?" He asked, turning to Bobby. 

"Hell no," Bobby snapped. "They're just gonna have to catapult themselves inside." Lucifer sighed, looking very put upon. 

"Alright, then. Can we at least move out of the panic room? It's kind of cramped down there."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Of course you can, numbskull. I ain't sticking a pregnant person in the basement! Dean!" Bobby hollered suddenly. In the midst of the planning and small argument, Dean had been trying to lead Castiel away for some well deserved sexy times. Hearing Bobby shout at him, Dean hastily did up his flies, and Castiel rebuttoned his shirt. "Pull out the sofa bed! You can do Castiel later!"

"Aw, come on, Bobby!" Dean whined. "We haven't even consummated our marriage! This is supposed to be our honeymoon!"

"Well, that's what you get for not calling your family to your wedding, boy! Quickie wedding, quickie honeymoon," Bobby replied smugly. Dean pouted and went to do as he was bid, but gave Castiel's ass a parting squeeze nonetheless.

Castiel gestured to a sleeping Michael and Inias on the couch. "It seems my brothers have already fallen asleep, and it won't be wise to awaken them. I suggest that Lucifer sleeps elsewhere tonight. If nobody minds, I am going to go and nest with my brothers. Goodnight." So saying, Castiel hurried over to a vacant spot and curled up happily. By the time Dean got back with extra pillows, he was sound asleep. 

"Aw, man! What'd I get these for? Now I don't even get to have sex," he pouted phenomenally. 

"Forget sex, we have to make alternate sleeping arrangements," Sam grumbled. He perked up after a second. "Wait, you're an angel! You don't need to sleep!" He said, pointing to Lucifer.

Dean shook his head. "No way in hell I'm gonna sleep knowing that the Devil's up and about! No, he sleeps like the rest of us. We'll take shifts in keeping lookout."

"Alternatively," Lucifer drawled, "we could all sleep, and my minion hordes can station themselves around the perimeter and keep watch. They are loyal, and await the birth of the heirs to the Throne of the Damned with as much enthusiasm as I do."

Dean mouthed 'Throne of the Damned' in horror, and looked at Michael. "What do they call your squeeze?"

"Most Mighty and Pretty Consort of the King of Hell, Lord of all things Sinful," Lucifer provided his mate's full title. Bobby rolled his eyes hard and cleared his throat. 

"Yer demons can keep watch here, but we need eyes in heaven! What if those buggers get wise to us?"

"Ooh," Bathazar piped up from where he was splayed lewdly in front of the fireplace, "I can do that! I will pretend to compare progress with other search parties, and can feed them misinformation. I can also recruit a few souls to our cause. I'm sure that my beautiful soul-mate won't mind."

Lucifer beamed. "I have taught you well, young Balthazar," he praised. Balthazar preened. Dean foamed at the mouth at Balthazar's casual mention of Adam being his soul-mate. Balthazar flapped off before Dean could wail and flail about his love life but dropped something in the process, and Dean immediately sprang over and picked up the item. After a minute, he cried out loudly, "It's a gigantic dildo!"

Lucifer promptly fell over laughing, while Bobby went beet red and rolled off to areas unknown. Sam looked impressed by the size, until he remembered whom Balthazar planned to use it on. Or in. "Oh gross, Dean, put it away, he's probably used that!" Dean dropped it like a hot rock, and wiped his hands on Sam's shirt, who shrieked and flailed. 

After their brotherly bonding had finished, Lucifer cleared his throat again. "Sleeping arrangements?"

Dean stomped over. "Okay, this is how it's gonna go down. Cas, Inias, and Michael are down here. Sam, you go and bunk with Bobby. Lucifer, you're with me," he said resolutely. Sam gasped and gripped Dean's arm tightly, and opened his mouth to protest, only for Dean to slap a hand over his mouth. "No Sammy, I'm not going to have him alone with you. In case I don't make it tonight, you have to promise me that you'll love Cas and Cas Jr. like I would, and give them a good life. Oh, and avenge me, but just a little bit." Sam nodded tearily and let go of his brother to go upstairs. 

Dean and Lucifer trudged to bed, where they sullenly got under the covers and turned the lights off. "Goodnight, Satan," Dean grumbled.

Lucifer turned to Dean, his eyes an incandescent red. "Good night, Dean," he replied congenially. Dean squeaked and buried his head underneath the covers, from where he would not emerge till daybreak. His evil deed of the day done, Lucifer smirked. 

Good night, indeed.


	5. Babies Galore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The end! 
> 
> We just have an epilogue coming up! 
> 
> Thank you so much everyone, for sticking with this fic. It's been a pleasure to write this. The epilogue will be uploaded separately. I will also add small ficlets to this verse when inspiration hits me!
> 
> Feel free to comment and come on by my tumblr - kindaangelic.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> Living_Free

The next morning saw Dean jerked from his slumber with a shriek as a body flew in through the window, breaking glass and waking the others in the house. A demon quickly straightened up and faced Lucifer with a toothy smile. 

"Good morning, my Dark Leige," he chirped, brushing glass from his suit. "Today is the fifteenth of November, and the weather is cold and windy, with chances of light rainfall later today. Your coffee is ready to be brought up, and the rest of hell awaits your orders eagerly." 

Dean watched the demon prattle on with his sheets tugged up to his chin, while Lucifer stretched out and got out of bed. "Thank you, Valefor. You may go, and await my orders." The demon nodded and promptly leapt back out of the window to the applause of his comrades below. Dean tumbled out of bed to go tattle to Bobby about his broken window.

"Boy!" Bobby hollered as Lucifer stepped into the kitchen. "Why did one of yer demons break in through my window!?"

Lucifer smiled serenely and hugged the dark head of mussed hair, and bent down to nuzzle his mate. The scent of honey and apples sent him darting away, realizing that he had been inadvertently romancing Castiel instead. From his seat, Michael snickered and motioned for Lucifer to come over. "As I recall," Michael piped up, "you were the one who said that the demons could catapult themselves inside." Bobby frothed at the mouth while Michael and Lucifer behaved indecently with each other. Inias squeaked and covered his eyes, giggling. 

"Ew, ew, ew," Dean whispered as the two eldest archangels necked happily. He soon found a silver lining in the situation as he realized that neither archangel was eating their breakfast. Quick as a flash, Dean pilfered the bacon from their plates, and divided it up between Castiel and himself. Sam tutted in disgust, sipping elegantly at a glass filled with what looked like blended grass. "So, Michael, I was wondering-"

"When're ya gunna pop?" Dean asked through a mouth full of half chewed bacon. Sam wrinkled his nose in distaste and began to lecture his brother on proper form and manners, for God's sake Dean when Michael interrupted.

"About two weeks, I think. Castiel should give birth about two weeks after me, and I don't know about Inias at all. His pregnancy is not anything that I could expect from the mating of a seraph and an Archangel." Inias' ears perked up and he looked about at the mention of his name.

"Do you think Inias' case is problematic?" Castiel whispered lowly as Inias strained to hear. Lucifer shook his head in a panic, and smoothed Inias hair down. 

"No, no. Inias' baby is going to be... One of a kind," the Devil fibbed through his teeth. Inias tweeted happily and bounced over to Bobby to bother the old man. Castiel continued to look concerned, so Lucifer elaborated. "I honestly meant that. The mating of an archangel and a seraph should result in another archangel, the baby taking after the stronger parent. But Inias' vibes aren't giving me anything of the like - it's not like anything I've ever felt. I suppose we'll have to wait for his little surprise."

"Yeah, it'll be little alright," Dean mumbled, gesturing to Inias' small stomach. Michael and Castiel groaned in jealousy as they hefted their large stomachs off their chairs to waddle gracefully to the living room. Michael rubbed his swollen midsection and smiled. "Any day now," he chirped.

"Yeah, and good thing too. Then we can concentrate on taking down that fucker Zachariah," Dean piped up. "How exactly are we going to do that?"

Michael smiled evilly, still rubbing his stomach. "You'll see. We have a plan." Saying this, he burst into a stream of evil giggles, prompting his brothers to join him. Dean looked shocked at Castiel's sudden mirth and stared.

"Babe, you okay?"

Castiel immediately sobered up. "Oh, yes, Dean. I'm just happy that our tormentor will finally get what's coming to him." Dean nodded, happy that soon, his little family would have nothing to worry about. Just as he was dreaming about a life free of worries, Balthazar popped up, reeking of soul-sex.

"Michael, you better get a move on popping those babies out. Zachariah's been spreading all kinds of lies up in heaven about your defection, and your giving birth to the heir to hell. What's more, even Raphael seems to be swaying towards believing him."

Lucifer angrily opened his mouth to rail at his idiot brother when Balthazar interupted him. "All's not lost, though. I managed to talk around some Angels and a bunch of souls to coming down to help us guard the children."

"Oh? And who would these be?" Lucifer asked.

"My mate, Adam, and his insufferable boss, Temeriel," Balthazar ticked off the list on his fingers. "Sandalphon, Anpiel, Samandriel, and Bartholomew, amongst the Angels. Joanna, Ellen, and a grumpy man named Victor Hendrickson," he finished. Dean perked up at the mention of Victor. He'd always liked the stuffy FBI agent.

Michael suddenly flinched, his eyes glowing. "Oh," he said mildly.

"Oh?" The room echoed.

"Oh, the babies are coming," Michael elaborated.

The room burst into a hubbub of activity. Dean went to boil some water while Sam set down bedding. Castiel and Inias helped Michael lie down while Lucifer held his mate's hand. Balthazar called their allies down from heaven to help guard the perimeter while Temeriel and Adam set to work on the angelic birthing ritual. Outside, the demons readied themselves for a party to celebrate the birth of the heir to the Throne of Darkness and Other Generally Unpleasant Things.

"The instruments for the birth have been blessed," Temeriel announced. "I will now make the incision to deliver the children." So saying, she made a shallow cut, and she and Adam reached in to pull out two small, red, wailing blobs. "Behold!" Temeriel shouted triumphantly, as Lucifer helped to heal his mate. "The Archangel Twins!" 

Everyone cheered and crowded in for a closer look. The larger of the two looked like a female, with dark hair and pale eyes. She looked disgruntled at the attention and turned to flop over protectively onto her smaller twin, a boy. The boy flailed before settling happily into his sister's protective embrace.

"What are their names?" Sam asked as he resisted the urge to snuggle the children.

"Our daughter shall be called Idatenel, the Patron Archangel of Warriors. Our son shall be called Desamel, who shall be the Patron Archangel of Hunters, named after the two greatest hunters of this time," Michael pronounced as he cradled his babies. There was a whoop of celebration, heralding the birth of a new Order in heaven and hell. Outside, the demons conjured up Devil's Food cake and donned party hats in what promised to be celebration for the ages. 

"Ida and Des," Dean said warmly. "Hey Sam, we just became uncles," he said, turning to his brother. Sam sniffled happily. 

Just as the celebration was dying down, Castiel doubled over in pain. Dean leapt over with a protective shout of "Baby, what happened!?"

"Dean," Castiel gasped, "I am going to give birth!"

The room went pindrop silent as Castiel heaved. Temeriel broke the silence by screaming, "Prepare for another birth! Quick get more holy water to bless the knives!"

"Oh, Christ!" Dean gasped as Castiel's eyes started to glow.

"Good idea!" Temeriel said. "Someone go get Jesus, I need an extra pair of hands!" Dean gaped as Samandriel disappeared to Heaven. Adam hustled over and began to sterilize the area to be cut as Castiel gripped Dean's hand tightly. 

"I can't wait, Dean," Castiel whispered excitedly. Sam bounced from his other side, and held Castiel's free hand, startling the angel. "I can't wait either," Sam said happily. Castiel and Dean smiled, overjoyed that their family was soon to grow by one. 

Soon, everyone was set to start on delivering their baby, with the addition of Jesus who was helping bless the knives for the incision. Castiel watched with bated breath as Temeriel reached in expertly and drew out a wailing, baby boy. As a horde of Angels descended on Castiel to heal him, Castiel shouted, "We need a name!"

"How about after someone we know?" Dean suggested, proudly cradling his baby boy in his arms.

"Dean," Sam said sternly, "You're not naming him Sammyel, if that's what you're thinking." The baby chose that moment to open his eyes, revealing bright green orbs. He began to pout, possibly at the choice of names. "Aww, he looks like a mini-Dean," Sam cooed.

"A Dean-mini, eh?" Lucifer said thoughtfully. "What about Diniel?" 

"I like it," Castiel piped up, reaching for his son. "Diniel." The baby cooed at the name, signalling his acceptance. 

"Diniel the Righteous Nephilim," Michael echoed. "He can be the Patron of Infants." 

"That's cool with me," Dean said. "Hey, little man, who's your daddy?" Diniel reached out a chubby hand and waved it at Dean, frustrated that his father did not realize that he had the knowledge of all creation. "My baby's a genius!" He put Diniel beside his newborn cousins and marveled at all the babies. "They're all perfect," Dean sighed. 

Lucifer opened the window and addressed the demon horde outside. "Celebrate, all ye damned, for this day marks the birth of Idatenel and Desamel, heirs to the a throne of Darkness, to rule side by side, and their cousin, second in line, Dininel!"

The demons whooped joyously and broke out in song. Some demons screamed for pictures, and Lucifer quieted them with promises of official photos of the newest members of Hell's Royal Family. Dean, however, was still stuck on one thing.

"Did he just call our son the second in line to rule Hell?" He asked Castiel incredulously. Castiel merely hummed as he unbuttoned his shirt, and allowed their son to latch onto his nipple. "I mean, we spent our lives fighting the forces of evil and - babe, what are you doing?" Dean stuttered to a halt as he watched their son sucking on Cas' nipple. 

"I am assisting Diniel to get used to the sharing of grace, much like how a mother will feed her child its first meal. With time, Diniel will learn to share grace without this, but until then, I will give him the necessary energy." 

"Yes," Michael said, as he openly nursed one child at each nipple. "This will carry on until the children have reached one human year. Then, they will learn to bond with each other. Ow, don't pull, Des, it's not polite."

"Here, let me help," Lucifer offered, taking a grabby baby from his mate. Quick as a flash, he had thrown his shirt off and allowed his son to suckle. Dean's eyes popped at the sight of Satan suckling his son. "Don't stare, you baboon," Lucifer chastised him. "All angels have grace, and any of us can feed our child. It's not like humans or animals, where only women have udders. Terribly inefficient, if you ask me."

Dean shuddered at the likening of soft, rounded, breasts to a cow's sagging udders. He would never look at women the same way again. Dean looked at Castiel feeding their son and smiled. It was just as well, he thought. There was never going to be anyone who could separate him from his hubby.

"I became an uncle thrice in one day!" Sam enthused, ticking Diniel's stomach. Dean had half a mind to smack Sam for watching Castiel feed their son, but held back, as Castiel did not seem to mind. 

"Yeah," Dean said instead. "Must be some day for you, huh, kid? You got to help deliver all three of your own nephews and nieces!" He said, turning to Adam.

"Huh?" Adam gaped, eyes wide. He looked at Balthazar in confusion, who looked sheepish. "Because they're your brothers' kids?"

"Um...not exactly, love," Balthazar gritted out. 

"Surprise?" Sam said hesitantly from the corner. "We're your brothers!" 

Adam gaped in awe and some horror at his new found family. He quickly latched onto Balthazar, who supported him. "Oh, he needs to lie down, I'll go find a place to lie with him - I mean for him!" Before anyone could stop them, they couple had disappeared, most probably back to heaven, where they would engage in raucous soul sex.

In that moment, Dean could not find it within himself to mind. He had his whole family around him - his hubby, his baby, his baby brother, and his Bobby. Throw in Inias and the Archangels and their brood, and they were starting to look like a regular Addams Family. 

"Dean?" Castiel called from the bed. "You're smiling, love."

"Yeah, babe. I'm just really fucking happy."

"Dean!" Sam gritted out. "Language! Think of the babies! Of Jesus!"

"Oh, fuck off, Sam."

Sam seethed in the corner while the rest of the family snickered, including Jesus. Dean smiled benignly. 

Everything was just fucking peachy.

\----------

After determining that Inias was not going to give birth at the moment, Temeriel and Jesus both returned to heaven. "Oh, he'll give birth soon, he's quite far along, actually," she had said before disappearing. Everyone gaped as Inias jittered in excitement and petted his small tummy. 

Until then, everyone busied themselves in caring for the children, rallying allies, and planning for the inevitable showdown with Raphael and Zachariah. "I will not hurt Raphael," Lucifer was quick to assure them, when Inias showed signs of crying. "I'll just knock some sense into him. Zachariah is our main concern. If we can separate him from Raphael, I'm sure that my demons can take care of him." A loud cheer came from outside, as the demons agreed vociferously.

Ever since the babies had been born, the demons had taken to throwing stuffed toys in through the windows, and occasionally catapulting in a reporter in to deliver the Royal press release regarding the babies. This time, a stuffed hippo sailed in through the window, with a note taped to it - "We will not fail you, my Liege :)" Lucifer smiled at his subjects self sufficiency and motivation. For being literal hell, things we're fairly peaceful under his benign rule. 

In that moment, everything went to shit.

Outside, demons screamed and the sound of knives clashing against each other filled he air. 

"Demon, I am an Angel of the Lord! You killed my kin, prepare to die!"

"I am a demon of Lucifer! You killed MY kin, prepare to die!"

Battle cries rent the air as Angels jousted with demons, while more demonic forces threw water balloons filled with ectoplasm from the roof. "Raphael's forces are here! Quick-" Before Sam could finish his sentence, a strong hand clamped around his mouth. Quick as a flash, Sam forced his lips open to lick his oppressor's hand.

"Argh, ew!" Raphael shouted, quickly withdrawing his now tainted hand. "You foul creature! I will have you and your brother skinned for your betrayal! How dare you harbor Lucifer!"

"Oh, shut up, Raphael," Lucifer groaned, trying to prise his baby girl from his nipple, where she fed. "Go back to your other daddy, he has a free nipple," Lucifer said, handing Ida off to Michael, who walked in tiredly, cradling Desamel.

"What is this!?" Raphael shrieked.

"Oh, hello, Raphael," Michael greeted his younger brother. "This is your nephew, and this one is your niece, Desamel and Idatenel," Michael said calmly bouncing his babies. 

Raphael gaped like a fish, before collecting himself once more. "You bred with the Devil!? What is wrong with you?" He yelled. Des began to warble sadly from Michael's arms, causing his older sister to angrily cause the tubelight to explode over Raphael's head. "Ack! Children of the Devil!"

"I told you," a smarmy voice came from behind Raphael. "They're all under Lucifer's spell. We'll have to eradicate them now, they're too far gone," Zachariah smirked, he could practically taste his promotion to archangel now. 

"Quick, Inias, the plan!" Michael whispered to his brother, while Zachariah prattled on. "Do it now!"

Inias widened his eyes and let out a convincing mewl of pain. He clutched his stomach and moaned again, screwing his eyes shut. "Raphie!" He whined highly. "Hurts!" Raphael swiveled around and flew to his mate, holding him tightly.

"Inias, my love! What is it? What is happening!?"

With Raphael successfully distracted, Castiel snuck up behind Zachariah and smothered him with one of Diniel's diapers while Balthazar pinned his arms to his sides. Quick as a flash, Dean and Sam clobbered the angel over the head with a large block of stone from one of Lucifer's crypts, making him slump over, unconcious. Quickly, the four of them stuffed his prone body through a window, where a horde of demons were waiting to transport Zachariah to hell for punishment, which would consist of watching YouTube videos of kittens on loop. Hopefully, it would cause him to grow a heart.

Meanwhile, Inias was still whining, even when Lucifer signaled for him to stop. "Really hurts!" He cried, holding Raphael tightly. Lucifer rolled his eyes and murmured, "drama queen." Inias, however, let out a wail of agony, shattering Lucifer's eardrums as punishment. 

"He's actually in labor!" Michael realized in horror. "Quick, get the healers again!"

Temeriel and Adam popped back once more, looking harried. "Out of the way, jerkwad!" Adam cried as he shoved a spluttering Raphael out of the way. "You dare-" Raphael began, but was stopped as Balthazar hurled Ida's soiled diaper at him, catching him square in the face.

By the time Raphael was done spluttering and cleaning himself up, Temeriel had finished with Inias, and was handing him a tiny, flailing, baby boy. "Congratulations, Inias, it's a...um..."

"What is he?" Castiel wondered aloud. "He is powerful, but he is no soldier," he mused.

Michael leaned over and examined the little baby, which was desperately trying to gun its way through Inias' shirt to his nipple. "It looks to me as though he is an archangel, but has more Cupid like tendencies."

"My son is a Cupid!?" Raphael asked, gobsmacked. "A cupid!!??"

"An Arch-Cupid," Michael determined with a nod. "The first of his kind. What do you want to name him, Inias?" He asked kindly. 

"Bobiel," Inias squeaked happily. Bobby started from where he sat. "Hey!"

"Aw, Bobby, Inias named his baby after you!" Sam cooed. "Isn't that precious?"

"Oh, fine, dangnabbit! Somebody pass the baby to me, I wanna see who gets the honor of having my name!"

"Why don't you come and get him?" Lucifer asked nonchalantly. Bobby glared at the Devil and did an angry jig in place in his wheelchair. 

"If you haven't noticed-"

"I am an angel, I notice everything. Apparently, you are the one who failed to notice that Castiel healed your legs a week ago, after he gave birth."

Bobby almost fell over in shock. He stood up shakily and walked over to Castiel, who look pleased. "I started the process by gradually healing your muscles and nerve endings. It took a few weeks, but I got it done last week."

"Babe, you're amazing," Dean choked out. "I swear that I'm gonna rim you so much tonight." 

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel said joyously as the rest of the room gagged.

Bobby hugged Castiel tightly. "Thanks, son. I'm so damn grateful, but I ain't gonna do nothing like Dean. Tell him that he does extra of whatever he said he's gonna do tonight, how about that?"

"That is satisfactory," Castiel said, as Dean preened hornily. Bobby made his way to little Bobiel and took him in his hands. 

"Hey, little Bo, welcome to the world," he said softly. "It sucks, but your family is here to make it bearable." 

Raphael still looked dazed, and was being slapped gently by Michael. "Raphael, go hold your son! He is one of a kind, a creature of love! Look at your son!"

"My son..." Raphael said slowly. He walked towards Inias, who cooed and held Bobiel out. The baby reacted on instinct and reached out to his other father as he approached. As soon as Raphael held him in his arms, Bobiel emitted a small coo, and a smile graced his lips. Immediately, Raphael began to smile as well. "My little son, my little Bo," he whispered softly. "Inias, look at our baby!"

As Raphael and Inias bonded over their child, Michael and Lucifer headed outside to stop the battle.

"-killed my kin, prepare to die!"

"No, YOU prepare to die!"

"Angel scum!"

"Demon filth!"

Lucifer could have sobbed at the pathetic insults being flung every which way. He mustered his ire and thundered at the battlefield, "STOP!" The combatants immediately came to a halt.

"You are all to leave, immediately!" Michael hollered authoritatively. "You have left your tasks in heaven and hell to come and fight for a traitorous angel! Leave now, and go perform your true duties!" The demons squeaked and fell over each other in their haste to do as the Mighty Consort bid them. The Angels, however, dithered. 

"Say, where is Zachariah? Shouldn't we take him back for punishment?"

"He is being punished as we speak," Castiel addressed the crowd. He bit his lip in an effort to repress his glee. "Do as your General bids you." 

"Cool."

"Okie."

"Whatever."

Within moments, the area had cleared, with no trace of the battle that had been in full swing only minutes before. Lucifer patted Castiel on the back. "I'm so proud of you, look how ruthless you've become!"

Castiel blushed. "He threatended my family. He threatened the existence of my son, nephew, and niece, not to mention my brothers and my husband. There is nothing I would not do for you."

Castiel's sentiment was echoed by the rest of the congregation as they piled into a group hug. In the huddle, Dean felt a hand against his ass. "What the hell, Balthazar!?" He crowed indignantly.

"I wanted to see if perky bums were genetic," Balthazar shrugged. "Apparently, they are. My Adam will be so pleased that he shares something with his brothers."

"So he's come around to us?" Sam asked hopefully. 

Balthazar nodded. "Oh yes. He's rather happy about having more family." Sam's eyes filled with happy tears. 

"My family just keeps getting bigger! Dean, we can't fit everyone in the impala anymore, we'll have to get a station wagon!"

Dean fainted in shock at Sam's blasphemy, while Diniel burst into giggles. Castiel rushed to soothe his husband and child while Balthazar flitted back to heaven. Michael and Lucifer pawed at each other indecently, while Sam made a surreptitious escape. Inside the house, Raphael and Inias bonded with their newborn and his cousins, who were gradually warming to their uncle. Bobby was rediscovering his toes and was thinking of taking up tap dancing.

In heaven, Adam was trying to decide which lingerie to wear to surprise Balthazar. Jo was busy pursuing a very frightened angel named Arthur, and was failing miserably. Victor was just happy that he had gotten to tackle someone. 

And for once, all was alright in heaven and earth.


End file.
